Judge Not

A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial -- a grand-motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains
to realize you will never amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And
he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy,
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal
relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the
shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence
and called both counselors to the bench.

In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of
you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt!"